“Cracking under pressure”

Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him and asked, “Lord, don’t You care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha, the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed-or indeed only one, Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her”. Luke 10:40-42

Verse reflections:  I am about to crack with the effort of life tonight.  Another way to say this is “I am worried and upset about many things” as Martha was.   I sought out this verse hoping that I could remind myself that not everything has to be done and it certainly doesn’t have to be done perfectly.  And yet, who is going to clean my home?  Who is going to mow the yard?  Spray the driveway?  Wash and dry the clothes?  Read the business contracts?  Read the business proposals that earn or lose $20,000+?  Take care of the real estate investments?  Manage the business?  And still I have to sleep and run and have relationships.  Oh, and then there is serving God!  Today while I was on the phone with someone finding out that an angel at our church was going to pay for my dying friend’s children to go to college I lost $1500 because I didn’t read a contract well enough before I signed.  What happens if I don’t read over the proposal tonight that could win or lose $20,000, what happens if I don’t get to the conference tomorrow?  So… I am trying to be Mary and arrange college funds for my friend and I personally lose $1500.  Hmmmm… doesn’t make me want to be Mary.  I am so far past exhausted I can’t see straight.  I want to be Mary but what happens then?  I have gotten to the age I admire the high school graduates that don’t have to go to college and follow “the career path”.  I think if I had it to do over again, I would get a job earning just enough to get by and travel, live in a trailer or camper truck.  Then I could be Mary and not worry about any other details.  This is what the devil uses in my life to get me stressed out.  So.  I am not the one to be posting tonight.  I am not the one to reflect on this verse.  I’m going to have to go straight to prayer this time.

Prayer:  Father, I don’t know how to leave the details of my life alone.  I’ve quit teaching Sunday School, I’ve quit having a social life so that I can “relax” but I have so many details left I can’t spend the time I need to at Your feet as Mary does.  Forgive me for being in a King David state of desperation.  Allow me to relax.  Allow me to not have to do everything.  I know I have a great staff and most days I can relax and enjoy my job.  Today I cannot.  I am exhausted.  I love You.  Come down here and help me.  I need to sit at Your feet and dry them with my hair.  I need to let the details go.  I need to trust You to take our business and us personally to the next level.  So I am going to sleep, I am going to be late to the conference, and You are going to rock our business and us personally into the next hemisphere.  Thank You for loving us.  I am going to eat healthy and re-dedicate myself to God plus one.  But You will have to take care of the Martha details and show me that it will get done without me.  Thank You.