I do not understand what I do.

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. Romans 7:15

Verse Reflections:  Yes, Paul understands me so well.  I want to eat right.  I want to lose weight.  I want to honor God with my body.  I want to honor my finances by having one set of clothing.  And then I choose to eat 2,000 calories in one sitting.  And I hate that I did it the next day.  Over and over and over I repeat this crazy behavior.   I definitely have a love-hate relationship with my choices in eating.  I don’t understand how I can go through the week eating perfectly well and then one day I have to gulp down everything unhealthy in my sight.  Or, I have to have what I visualize in my brain which, of course, means a trip to the store or drive through.  Once I start, I just keep going when I get in these moods.  Like Paul, “I do not understand what I do”.  I know what it takes to lose weight, what foods to eat but “what I want to do I do not do”.  What is wrong with me?  Praise God, He has overcome the world, He has given us the power to overcome this cycle.  I HATE what I do, and what I hate I do.  I hate giving in to these temptations, I hate giving in to my love of cookies, chips, cheese or whatever!  And yet I do it.  Paul, the man who stayed joyful when he was in prison, the man who chose Christ when He was a revered leader in the Jewish community…  If Paul has issues he cannot control, we must realize that we all have those issues.  Mine is food.  So today we realize once again our powerlessness to control our eating habits.  Without Christ, we will not break this bond, this cycle.  This verse shows us we cannot understand our inabilities.  We must just accept them and every day we must wake up and once again reach out to Christ to steady us to break this cycle.

Prayer:  Father, I come to You powerless to break this cycle of overeating.  I continue to do that which I hate and I continue to hate that which I do.  I adore You and I love myself and yet I cannot break the power food has over me.  Bless my inabilities.  Allow them to strengthen our bond.  Allow me to depend on You to break this cycle.  You power is indeed made stronger in my weakness.  So You should be really strong in my life, because I have the weakness.  I am coming to you as Paul came to You, humble, contrite and shaking my head because I do not understand why this crazy beast has power over me.  How can I continue to do that which I hate the next day?  How can I not continually make good choices?  I am going to raise my hands in surrender.  I know I cannot break this chain which binds me.  You, will have to be my power.  You will have to break the chains and set me free.  You have freed me from the power of sin through Your grace and yet, this one has me.  Please, set me free from this one also.  Lift me out of the quicksand that sucks me back in day after day.  Give me the desires of my hear for healthy foods today.  I love You.