“No more secrets”

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.

Verse Reflections:  Ugh!  Every secret thing will be brought into judgment.  Well, these devotions just brought my “secret thing” out into the light.  Maybe that means I won’t be judged later (just teasing).  My secret for forty years is my addiction to sugar.  It has been an easy secret to keep.  I am just 20-30 pounds overweight and I run 20 miles a week so I carry it well.  No-one would look at me and know that I am an addict.  My friends laugh when I say this but for me it is no laughing matter.   For me, this is as serious as an addiction to alcohol or drugs.  Just this past weekend, I allowed myself to have 3 carbs/sugar indulgences on Saturday.  I got through that day but the next day we went to a hamburger joint that makes fresh doughnuts on Sunday.  We had a doughnut for an appetizer and a burger and fries and to be honest my day “went to hell in a handbasket”.  I craved every processed food available the rest of the day.  And so the story goes.  I like to think that yesterday was a turning point in my critical insight about myself.  I simply am not capable of having 3 cars/sugars two days in a row.  Physiologically my body yells at me, it demands more sugar, more processed carbohydrates and to be perfectly honest for a period of time I am at the mercy of my cravings.  The truth of it is I am not my cravings when I eat God foods and allow myself just one doughnut OR a serving of fries.  It is the combination of multiples that eliminates my abilities to fight.  When I make choices consistent with God’s plan of eating I am 100% capable of resisting temptations.  I need to know that I need to fear God and keep His commandments.  I need to not keep my eating issues a secret and just let everyone know I CANNOT eat sugar and carbs on a regular basis.  It is just that simple.  No more secrets.  We are judging this secret now and changing this lifestyle before judgment.

Prayer:  Father it is actually freeing to know that You are judging me and revealing my secrets and this is a reality.  I cannot keep my addiction to sugar a secret.  I must be honest, forthright and humble in letting those around me know that I can only have only one sugar/high carb food per day in order to keep Your commandment of eating foods that honor this temple You have blessed us with.  I know I have 120 extra pounds of pressure on my knees right now @ 40 pounds of pressure per extra 10 pounds of fat.  I run too much and I am too old to keep up with that wear and tear.  Father I love the idea of being judged and my secrets exposed.  Is that a little weird?  I want to expose this dirty little secret and let’s get it gone.  I have been judging myself for years now.  I’d love to give it over to You to judge, expose and fix.  I love You and I love the exposure of knowing my secret is no longer a secret.  I didn’t even know myself that I was an addict until recently.  I just knew I was not capable of controlling my eating.  Thank You for taking away the compulsions when I eat God foods! I truly honor You and shout alleluia to You in thanksgiving.  I feel like hugging You and dancing with You now that I know I can control my compulsions just by changing the type of foods I eat.  For me it is not about calories or points it is about carbs and sugars.  I do not have to count or write or stress any more.  Alleluia (God be praised)!