“Up from the Pit”

The engulfing waters threatened me, the deep surrounded me; seaweed was wrapped around my head. To the roots of the mountains I sank down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But You, Lord my God, brought my life up from the pit.” Jonah 2:5-6

Verse Reflections: To verbalize my intense struggle is difficult.  I want to walk around like everyone else and pretend that eating is not big deal.  This is not true for me.  I have been close to drowning with the water closing over my head and destroying my life.  I have been tied down by seaweed, tied to the bottom of the ocean with no hope of breaking free.  I have gone through phases of swimming and swimming and just before I break free and take a deep breath of fresh air, the temptations of binging overtake me and pull me down to the pit.  I will eat healthy for a few days and then eat more calories and sugar than most people eat in a week totally destroying any chance of gulping the fresh air I have worked so hard to reach.  This earth is destroying me with my own weakness.  God is bringing me up from the pit by every word, every promise, the strength that His word brings to me.  I have been to the “roots of the mountains”.  I have sunk to the depths over and over again.  Rather than dwell in the pit I must take comfort in my progress with God’s help even when I have seaweed wrapped around my head for a day.  One day backwards does not destroy the progress I make over the past week even if I don’t lose weight.  This is about eating healthy and giving my body the nutrients it deserves.  My eating habits are changing.  I am swimming up from the pits, I AM hiking up from the roots of the mountains.  The view at the top is beautiful and eventually with the power, the mighty power of God, I will stay out of the pit forever.

Prayer:  God I am living in the roots of the mountain, I am drowning in the waters that engulf me pulled under by the seaweed wrapped around my head.  This earth is my enemy.  I cannot choose healthy foods without Your power.  I fight choices every moment of every day.  I cannot hide this horrendous fight from myself, from You or from anyone I know.  I am totally helpless.  You created me so strong, so self reliant but God, this is my weakness.  You are my only hope.  You have to pull me out of the pit.  Every day, I try to make the climb myself and I start out good, I celebrate my abilities and I fail to realize that it is not my strength that I have to depend on.  My strength is like hitting a wall in a race.  I run and run and feel strong and then I find that I have no strength.  I cannot move, I cannot say no to the temptations/the seaweed that threatens to drown me.  Only You can make the difference.  I love You and trust You Father.  Come down here to earth.  I can’t even do this with You up above.  I need You here, right beside me every minute of every day.  HELP me God.  This verse reflects how I have been living in the struggle with food.  You can bring my life up from the pit and I am going to depend on You to walk me out of it every day until the day I join You.

Did you know?  Insulin is created in your pancreas